Hi Heather! I've been reflecting a lot on my coming out journey in the past few months, because I finally told my parents back in May. Anyway, YOU were a huge part of making me a lot less scared years ago. I googled lesbian, or something, and found AfterEllen. I would go there just to read your recaps. Nowadays I'm an obsessed Autostraddler, so I'm psyched you're there!!
Well, you just made my whole year. Thank you. And high five for being so frikkin courageous and awesome.
I just wanted to congratulate you and say I love your writing. Your Skins recaps made me start watching it (for which I am eternally grateful) and I've followed you ever since. We had a chat once about naming guitars! You never told me yours!
Hey there, I'm a total tumblr newbie, so maybe you already go this but I just wanted to congratulate you on your new autostraddle job! They've got some amazing writing so I'm sure you'll fit right in :) oh, since this technically a question, here's one: are you still gonna recap agents of shield?
Thank you so much! I am very excited! I won’t be recapping AoS unless they add a lesbian/bi character (that they don’t kill!), but I will definitely still be watching and live-tweeting with the #superqueeros tag, because I am kind of in love with this season. Such confidence! Such a perfectly Whedony mix of humor and heart and action! Such MELINDA MAY!
Infinite congratulations! I only started reading your writing recently, and since then I've sought out your writing in an embarrassingly obsessive manner. The first PLL recap of yours I read had me in stitches, and I remember thinking, "How on earth have I been missing this?" So I read more. I can't begin to explain how much your writing has meant to me. So I'll just say that I will gratefully continue to read your writing whenever and wherever you choose to share it. Thank you and good luck!
That’s so great. You’re so great. Thank you. I can’t wait to see what hijinks PLL rains down on us next season, and I can’t wait to swoon over it together.
Congratulations Heather on your new role! I've been offline for a little while & found out reading Riese'svFaking It recap. What awesome news! I found you because of Skins, loved your Coronation Street recaps (still missing Sian hope she's got herself a nice girlfriend in Southpaw) & oh man have I devoured most things you've written since! I'm already a loyal Straddler so can't wait to read you over there. You are a joy.
Thank you and you know what else? You are a joy! Thank you for sending me such a sweet message and also for making me remember Southpaw!
I started reading AfterEllen because of you and now that you've switched over to Autostraddle (which I never really paid attention to before), I've been perusing the website for about an hour now. So happy for you and I'll definitely be following you over there!
Thank you, Ritaa! You’re going to find a whole lot of awesome things to at Autostraddle! Also, speaking of love:
I have no questions or witty remarks. I already congratulated you, but I would like a gif. I got a job today. Is that gif worthy? I can congratulate you again. Yay Heather!!! I am really happy for you and will definitely follow you over there.
Congratulations Heather! You're an amazing writer who's made me view entertainment media in whole new ways through your commentary on Pretty Little Liars, Harry Potter, Glee, and a whole mess of comics, and I can't wait to see what you bring to the table at Autostraddle!
Thank you so much! (And I’m so happy to hear you say “a whole mess of comics”!) I hope one of them is Lumberjanes!
Hi Heather, I have only started reading your recaps of PLL this year, but since then have hunted down everything I could find that you've written. Congratulations on the new job, it's brilliant news :) Even better news is that you'll still be recapping PLL!
But is it better than THIS? (Thank you for your sweet message!)
Congratulations!! I remember where I was the day I first read your Pretty Little Liars recap. Those recaps brought so much laughter to my life when I was going through dark times. And your analysis of various fictional ships and characters inspires me to no end to always fight and argue for better representation. Thank you for being the awesome writer and person that you are and I wish you the best! I'll still be checking for you on autostraddle.
Man, I know that feeling. So many of my favorite writers have pulled me through my struggles with their words, and it makes me feel really good inside my heartspace to have done the same for you. Thank you for taking the time to tell me that and also for the congratulations. I am so lucky.
I am late to the party but will offer a resounding congratulations on the move and a (nearly embarrassingly) heartfelt thanks for all the words you've shared with us over the years. I cannot wait to read you over at Autostraddle.
I just needed you to know that I have been dreaming and wishing into the queer lady internet universe that one day you would join the team at Autostraddle. I'm a quiet reader, I rarely ever comment. But I have read all of your words for almost 5 years now. They have seen me through my own coming out/ coming into myself process and have comforted me on dark days and cheered me on happy ones. You are SO MEANT for Autostraddle! Couldn't be happier for you!! (and for us, your readers!!)
Thank you, thank you, thank you one million thank yous. For sticking with me all these years and for wishing for me to find my perfect fit and for celebrating my happiness and for just being on this journey with me. Power high five?
Hi Heather, just wanted to congratulate you on the new job! So well deserved! I also wanted to say thank you for your work at AE. I read lots of your stuff during a time I was struggling a lot & had no one in my life who I felt comfortable talking to. Although, somewhat one sided conversations, your words (& one Skins recap in particular) helped me towards a lot of self acceptance and in dealing with a lot of inner demons. Anyway, thank you again & lots of luck in the new job! You'll nail it!
What a wonderful thing to hear. Thank you for telling me that. Those Skins recaps were really special to me too. They helped me work out a lot of my own things, so I’m glad they helped you too! The internet is our own personal couch for watching TV together and learning about stories from each other and I am so happy to share this couch with you.
HH, I started reading your words back when I was 15 and you were still Stunt Double. Now, as I'm growing into something resembling an adult your writing still makes my heart feel happy and warm. You've impacted me more than you know, and I am so happy to see you moving forth on this new adventure, and I can't wait to see all the greatness that continues over at autostraddle.
You are the second person today who has mentioned when I was StuntDouble! It makes me so happy I could pop! Thank you for your message; it really made me happy. And thank you for sticking with me for so long.
I was so relieved to know you'd still be recapping Pretty Little Liars that I almost cried. Almost. Because the dialogue about LGBTQ issues surrounding the show is just as important to me as the show itself. And you have been a huge part of that conversation. So, congrats on your new job, and thanks for using it to continue being a voice.
Thank you so much! I agree with you also: The dialogue PLL has created (and continues to create) about so many gender/sexuality things is revolutionary and far-reaching and I would be bereft if I couldn’t be a part of it anymore. But I can! And I will! And I am really just happy and thank you again for your nice note.
Aw, man! I was just about to ask if you were ever going to do any more "Fandom Fixes" articles. I guess I'm way too late for that :) Regardless, congrats Heather! I will definitely be following you and your wonderful, thought provoking writing over to Autostraddle!
Thank you so much! I’m so excited! Do you have a special Fandom Fixes in mind? I can write you one on Tumblr!
You + Autostraddle = more excitement than my little gay heart can possibly take. BUT SERIOUSLY I love when people I love and organizations I love team up to create something even better that I can love forever and I'm really happy for you! Congratulations!
Thank you so, so much! I am so happy and excited also!
I am so SO happy for you I almost spilled my coffee cheering when I read your post. The usual line is 'couldn't happen to a nicer person' but that's crap, because you're not just *nice* you've fiercely dedicated yourself to this crazy wonderful community of fangirls and worked so hard and been so passionate and protective and awesome. Autostraddle is lucky to have you. WE're lucky to have you. Best of luck :)
Race, you are the goddamn best, you know that? Thank you, for this and for everything you do to make the world smarter and brighter and infinitely better.
Books! And cleverness! There are more important things – friendship and bravery!
Friends and family and cats who are reading over your owners’ shoulders,
I am so excited that I finally get to share some awesome, awesome news with you. I have accepted a senior editor position at Autostraddle, the largest independently owned queer/feminist website on this whole big internet!
Six and a half years ago, AfterEllen founder and former Editor in Chief Sarah Warn plucked me out of the comments section of a Hot 100 article and asked if I’d be into writing a couple of posts a week. I was working in a tiny cube counting numbers, too afraid to even post in The L Word forums, even though my main dream in life was to become a writer. Now, I’ve written over a million (no, for real!) words for AfterEllen and interviewed every one of the actors I used to fawn over from The L Word and made a full-time career out of writing and editing.
But, most importantly of all, over the last six and a half years, I’ve gotten to meet you. You have invited me into your lives week after week, year after year, and laughed with me and cried with me and raged with me and made one hundred million inside jokes with me. People often say writing on the internet is a thankless job, but I’ve found that to be the opposite of true. Yeah, you have to work 100 hours a week to make enough money to buy peanut butter. And no, you never get to sleep. But no matter how tired or penniless I have been over the years, y’all have kept me going, because every time I cracked myself open to share more of my story with you, you just opened yourselves up and gave me your stories too.
You have fueled me with your kindness, cushioned me with your encouragement, made me snort orange juice out of my nose more times than I care to admit, and literally saved my dog’s life.
Together, we have created something real and rare. Like #BooRadleyVanCullen, for example! That’s all us, man! That’s me and you meeting up every week to laugh and swoon a freak out and talk to TV writers in a language we created together!
“Women who accuse other women of being basic, simply because they live a seemingly stereotypical life approved by the male patriarchy, are actually subscribing to that same patriarchy. Let’s be really, really honest about this. Women calling other women basic is the exact same thing as women calling other women sluts. Same old story, different word. We, women, are in constant battle with each other, building ourselves up only by tearing down those around us. That’s what a patriarchy is, whether it be male driven or not. It is this idea that we must position ourselves as better or worse than those around us, rather than working together to all be our best selves.”—You tell it, Tammy!
implying that bisexuality is like flipping from gay to straight and back again like a fricking sexuality light switch is like saying that bipedal means “i hop continuously from one foot to another” instead of “i walk on two legs”
I want to thank y’all so much for sending me your coming out stories for National Coming Out Day. I have cried like a kitten and laughed like a hyena reading all of them. I’m working on a giant master post right now, but in the meantime, here is my own coming out story.
I realized I was gay when I was eight years old. I didn’t know what it meant to be gay. I didn’t even know the word “gay.” I was sitting at my desk wearing red and black Pro-Wing high-tops, a pair of cut-off jeans, and a Bart Simpson t-shirt I’d stolen from the lost and found at my church. I’d just failed a spelling test, I hadn’t finished my science project, I didn’t have any lunch money, and A.J. Smith signed his name with a heart on the cast on my arm.
Everyone said, “Oooooh, he looooves you.” And I knew instantly and as sure as a slap to the face that there was something wrong with me. Something different. Something weird. A.J. told everyone to shut up. He ran out to the playground. And I sat at my desk making promises to myself that whatever it was I’d just realized, whatever thing was broken inside me, whatever awfulness was worse than wearing sneakers from Payless and having to steal clean clothes, I would never, ever, ever let anyone figure it out.
When I sat down to write about my coming out story for Heather Hogan’s project, it struck me that I don’t have one. I have countless. What folks forget to tell you when you’re in the closet, is that once you come out of that closet, you just keep on coming out. After family and friends, it’s…
So, for National Coming Out Day (which is tomorrow, October 11) Heather Hogan asked folks to write a coming out story. I struggled a bit with which story to tell. I’ve come out again and again over the years. I’ve told a few coming out stories here and there so I tried to pick a story I hadn’t told before.